Giving away the seats at your table…
As a reformed people-pleaser, I don’t believe most people understand the danger of pursuing validation with unabashed gusto. At best, you waste a great deal of precious limited energy that could have served more productive pursuits. But at worst, you give away the limited seats at your proverbial table.
To guard your circle is to guard your wellness in all areas: physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and even financially. Giving access to your space grants valuable inclusion in the tapestry of your life experience. Far too often, people-pleasing means discounting tickets into your premium space in exchange for useless validation.
Ask me how I know…
If you’re a parent, you probably advised your children to watch the company they keep and to beware who they allow access to their lives. You likely pushed them to be independent and to ignore criticism. Yet if you’re a people-pleasing parent, I guarantee you sent a wholly different message inside which your warnings were lost. We think our children don’t notice, but they do.
I remember when my youngest son started speaking up about what he observed. He told me I was too eager to please, and I accepted too many inputs from people who didn’t deserve an opinion. He said it enough times for me to evaluate what he was seeing. And boy was he seeing a lot.
I had literally detached from the power of my own intuition. The need for validation and approval became crippling. Left on my own, I was easily ensnared by analysis paralysis. I had stopped making moves and didn’t even realize it. I was going with the flow. All flows. Any flow. Like the fable of the boiled frog, the pot of cool water I once enjoyed was now boiling over with deadly heat. Who the hell was I, and who were all these opinionated twits I allowed a seat at my table?
Returning to myself was a bumpy road of discovery I’ll never forget.
(Spoiler: That road doesn’t end until you leave this planet.)
Slowly clearing the bullshit was a worthy battle, opening the way for amazing friends, coaches and mentors to sit at my table bringing gifts of health, healing, wellness, and peace. Today, I’m an “invitation only” kinda gal, coaching other women through the process of getting back to the business of being FREE.
👏 Please share claps if this short piece resonated with you. ❤️
